Homework Meltdown

As a full time nanny, I've seen my share of melt downs. Luckily the little girl I've been watching since freshmen year has her head screwed on tight most of the time. She's a very bright kid but those are the ones you have to watch out for, because they know exactly how far they can test you. Unfortunately for Emily, she realized on Monday that I can push buttons right back.

Homework is a daily struggle of a second grader. No eight year old wants to get off the bus and go straight to reading a book! Though it's a pain I remember all too well, it's necessary. The afternoon started as it usually does between Emily and I. I begged, bribed and prayed for her to read but she was not having any of it. I might as well asked her to preform brain surgery. After a fierce stare-off, I managed to convince her to read two chapters and then right a few sentences down. Once she had finished, I tried to make light of her nasty attitude and crack a joke. She was not amused and stomped off to watch TV with not one but two forbidden snacks. I told her to put the snacks back and get something healthier. She stared at me while cranking up the volume on the TV. Two can play at this game.

I walked to the TV, took the remote, turned it off and carried the remote back into the kitchen where I sat down silently. This is when she began to lose her young mind. Emily began muttering something under her breath and started pacing around the island in the kitchen as I sat quietly with my cell phone. After she realized this wasn't getting her any attention, she stood next to me completely still until the full tantrum set in. I'm not exaggerating when I say she dropped to the floor in a mere split second and then began moaning and groaning at the top of her lungs. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. I thought this was the worst of it but she quickly proved me wrong as she started to roll on the floor, moaning and slapping her face against the table legs. Then she took her shoe off and began to poke me with it. She still was not going to get any attention from me. At this moment, her mother walked in absolutely hysterical with laughter. I explained the situation and then showed her a video I had stealthily captured. Needless to say, Emily learned the tough lesson that adults can give the silent treatment too.

(the black thing on the left is her dog)

The test that almost KILLED me

Before I start my horror story, let it be known that neither I nor anyone else was harmed and everything is a-o-k now. Alright, lets begin!

So I got up nice and early at 6 am Saturday to take my ACT for the second time. I was really stressing about taking it even though I got a decent score the first time around. I had to schedule it at Indian Hills which is exactly seventeen miles away from my house because no other options were available, so getting lost was a definite worry for me. Anyway, I got ready for the big test and left my house at about 7:15 am, giving myself plenty of time to not only get to the test, but stop at Walgreens for some batteries for my very neglected calculator I keep in the glove box. Blah blah blah I got what I needed and then started my 25 minute journey down 275 towards Indian Hill. 

The road was disastrous and my visibility was as if I was looking through a cloud. Luckily, there weren't many cars on the road on that rainy Saturday morning. I traveled about ten miles when I realized I had forgotten my entrance ticket for the test and without it, I couldn't get in. Going into total panic mode, I tried to think if I had enough time to race home and grab it or if I had just flushed fifty dollars of my own money down a figurative drain. I needed to take exit 52 to get to the school and I was already at 50 so I decided I might as well get off the highway and call my folks to see what I could do. This exit was unfamiliar to me so I did not anticipate a curve. The cloud of fog and rain didn't allow me to see this curve until it was too late. I hit the wheel hard and then I felt it. Hydroplaning. It's one of the absolute worst feelings in my opinion. Losing control, my truck slid off the exit and into the grass a good 50 yards out. Before I came to a complete stop, my passenger side wheels lifted off the ground and I was almost positive it was going to flip onto the driver side. The passenger wheels met the ground again with a soft thud. I was shaking so hard that I couldn't even see straight. It took a while for my uncontrollably trembling hand to put the truck back into first gear and try to get out of this muddy mess and back onto the road. I finally managed to get moving and then pulled into a gas station where I then had a total break down. Long story short, I didn't take the ACT! 

I am so amazed that I came out of that one totally fine. What if I had been on a bridge? What if I was going five miles faster? What if? Luckily, it wasn't a huge deal because I was able to reschedule the test and it gave me a little bit of a wake up call on how quickly things can change.

Squirrel Whisperer

So I'm pretty sure I have strep throat and that means no school for me. I used to love missing school but now it's just stressful since I know I'm missing homework. None the less, my only option today was to stay home and I think it's a good thing I did. Let me explain. 

When I got up, both my parents had already gone to work. I walked to the window to make sure both their cars were gone and suddenly I see this little blur fall from the sky. As I opened the door to investigate, another little blob fell right in front of me. My heart sank when I realized these were baby squirrels. I watched as one squirrel ran back up the tree but the other one was just laying there. As soon as I realized it was alive and breathing, I ran into my house and grabbed a towel. When I got close to the squirrel, it jumped up and ran. The next twenty-ish minutes consisted of me trying to follow around this tiny squirrel with a towel trying to catch him. Finally I got him cornered and held him with the towel. Then this little creature starts screaming his little head off trying to find his mom. If you've never heard a squirrel scream, it's kind of like one thousand baby birds squeaking. 

So now I'm standing outside in my pajamas, holding a screeching baby squirrel with a towel and then Momma Squirrel decides to make an appearance. I'm not a sissy but there's something about a crazy mother squirrel making demon noises that frightens me. So little Ms. Devil Squirrel starts chasing me and I really quickly set the baby and towel down and jumped into my house. And then mom and baby both climbed back into the tree so I think the baby is ok. 

I guess it's good I didn't go to school today because I wouldn't have been able to help the squirrels. I'm a magnet for finding animals and stuff. I'm always finding kittens or dogs but finding squirrels was a new experience!!

-Odessa

Say NO to Pepper Spray

Dear Readers,

We're nearing the end of week 1 of this assignment and nothing too crazy has happened to me this week! I guess I can tell you a little more about myself and pull some stories out of the vault to share with you.

Last week, my best friend, Jordan, moved to South Korea for a foreign exchange program. She's going to be living there for a whole year so this summer we made it a point to spend as much time together as we possibly could. This summer, I've laughed so hard that I've cried and when she left we both cried so much we just had to laugh at ourselves. It's been pretty tough since she left because she truly is my best friend and I've known her since I first moved to Ohio when I was only six years old. We've only exchanged a few messages since she left on August 26th. Forgive me if I seem a little down at school. Anyway, enough with the sob story and lets get onto a happier one.

So midsummer, Jordan and I were bored and looking for something to do. We were both fairly broke and not hungry, so that kills about 95% of our options of fun things to do in Cincinnati. Being lame, we finally decided on just going to Barnes and Noble to look at some CD's. On the way, we made our almost-daily stop at Thornton's to get icees (my favorite drink) with some spare change in my car. We went to the Barnes and Noble by the Rave (AMC now) and finished our drinks as we shopped. After we finished looking around at the CD's and books, we walked through the empty little streets outside filled with shops. Jordan was fiddling with her keys and I spotted her tiny pepper spray bottle key-chain. Honestly, I wasn't trying to be a complete idiot, it just kind of happened. I took the pepper spray and sprayed the wall because I wanted to see what it looked like. Seems fine, right? Well, I realized I had some on my finger and so, doing the smart thing, I licked it off. MAJOR MISTAKE. I can not even tell you how horrible it was. If I had to describe it, I'd probably say it was like swallowing a flaming pepper covered in needles. Jordan stared in disbelief at my stupidity as my vision blurred with spicy tears.

Screaming, I ran back into Barnes and Noble and headed for Starbucks. Remember when I told you I was broke? Yeah, I was still broke, so I couldn't buy anything to drink, but lucky for me there was a little stand of free water. After gulping down a few cups, I realized it wasn't helping at all, so I did what I had to do. I drank a cup of coffee creamer that had been sitting in a big pitcher in a Starbucks for probably an entire day. So now imagine swallowing a flaming pepper and then trying to mask it with rotten milk and extreme embarrassment. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital.

During this whole scene, Jordan is just doubled over laughing like such a good friend. I thought I was going to die or explode or catch on fire. Needless to say, I survived but my dignity definitely took a big hit that night. No way I'll ever live that one down. I swear I'm not as big of an idiot as I sound haha.

-Odessa