I Can Die Happy Now

If you don't like/know Justin Timberlake, kindly exit this page and rethink your life.

So back in the summer, I mentioned to my boss that I was trying to get some JT tickets but they were way to expensive. She very generously gave me floor seats the next week and I was beyond myself. So fast forward to last night when the show actually happened. The show was in Columbus so my friend, Jamie, and I made the long and boring drive up 71 all the way to downtown Columbus. As we drove around the city, women in 5 inch heels and sparkly clothes littered the streets and I got more and more excited to be in the same room as my idol. After being seated in Row V on the floor, Jamie and I were astounded at how amazing these seats were. Seriously we were probably 50 yards away (if that).

Now let's fast forward to the best part, when JT arrived. The crowd erupted with a mountainous roar as he played for THREE HOURS with only a ten minute break in the middle. That is what a good concert should be. It was insaaaaane. Easily the best concert I have ever been to even though we were surrounded by drunk middle aged women. I don't think people give Justin Timberlake enough credit because that man has it all. He's a phenomenal singer, actor, dancer, and comedian. Not to be cliche, but last night seriously changed my life. Justin brought sexy back.

He also had a floating stage in the middle so he could be better seen by everyone

Kentucky Family Photos

Trying to find something to do in Cincinnati is so difficult. You could go to the movies but you're talking 10 bucks a piece. You could just hang out at someone's house but where's the fun in that? And I suppose the mall is an option but I'd rather not be surrounded by middle schoolers and clothes I can't afford so that's out of the question. Sometimes, you just have to get a friend and drive, and that's exactly what I did yesterday.

Melissa and I set out on our adventure around 3:30 having absolutely no idea where to go or what to do. We had a vague idea of going down to Newport but we stupidly decided we didn't need the GPS. After driving well into Kentucky and getting very lost, we somehow made it back to the riverside and parked along the bank. We then sat in the back of my pick up and just talked about everything. It was freezing cold by the windy river and so different than sitting at a warm and cozy movie theater, but that made it all the more fun. We watched as large groups of families took their family photos down by the river and one family in particular was the most entertaining. It was an odd bunch of a mom, a twenty something year old girl, a dude with a killer mohawk, a girl wearing short shorts and tights who must have been freezing to death, and a few little kids decked out head to toe in full camo suits. It was the strangest thing as they all took photos together but they looked very happy. As Melissa and I watched them, the older girl and the camo twins started skipping towards the photographer when the unthinkable happens. The girl's shirt fell down and Melissa and I both screamed and the girl doubled over in laughter and it was just such a strange scene. 

Hope everybody else had a hilarious weekend!! :)

Poetry

This past week we did a lot of poetry in class and here are the two I ended up turning in. The truth is poem is from someones anonymous truth in the classroom and the other one is about panic attacks.

Truth Is...

I get annoyed when people talk to me
Because their swirling words never stop
I hate the way it sounds in my head
Truth is, I just want to drop

Their words get mixed up in my mind
I can't tell what they're saying
It's all too much for me to bear
Truth is, my confidence is swaying

"Hello?" they call, "Are you listening?" they ask,
My panic is coming on quick
But I gather it all, and answer their questions
Truth is, I just want to seem slick

I'm in agony, as the conversation continues
Their words are always nipping at my heels
I muzzle their words as I walk away
Truth is, they can't bite without given a meal

As I shut it all out, things are quiet again
Today, my battle is won
I don't dare turn around and face anyone else
Truth is, when it comes to talking, I'm done




Panic

It lurks deep in my spine
and slithers through my veins
waiting for the perfect moment
to bite at my brain

It doesn't care what I'm doing
or where I am
regardless it strikes
with a bone chilling slam

My throat closes
and as I'm gasping for breath,
this serpent of sorrow
begins to feel a lot like death

But soon it lets go
and slides slowly away
I'm left with the reminder
that's the third time today

Don't Wear Jeans to Waterparks

The summer after sophomore year, I worked as a lifeguard and it was a gold mine of crazy stories. There's no such thing as an uneventful day at that place, I swear. One of the scariest and funniest memories came to my mind today and I figured I'd share it with you!

It was the middle of the day and I was working the top of a water slide where four people can all race at once. My job was to show the proper way of going down the slide, wait until the coast was clear, and then yell "GO!". Although this sounds easy, it can be pretty awkward since I had to check everyone's' swimsuits for rivets (little metal circles usually on the back of swim trunks). If someone did have rivets on their suit, we were given little plastic nubs to press into the rivets so that they wouldn't damage the slide. Without these, the guests can not ride and it just so happened we ran out of them that day. Rotations were extra long that day so I had already been stuck there for a half hour and had been screamed at many times for denying rides to guests with rivets (just doing my job!). I was used to this but it's still not pleasant.

After many guests went down the slide, next in line was a couple but they weren't really dressed for the water park. The woman had on a swimsuit but the man was wearing a t shirt and jeans. I asked him to spin so I could check for rivets but he had none so I had no reason to deny him the ride. "3, 2, 1, GO!" I yelled after showing them to cross their ankles and put their arms behind their heads. The woman disappeared down the slide but the man barely moved once he got to the curve. Suddenly, this man stands up on the water slide. Keep in mind that this is at least 60 feet in the air. I yelled down to him to just go down the slide and push himself but I guess he took this as an attack because before I knew it, he started cussing me out! Next, he started crawling back up the water slide to the top, screaming profanities at me and getting angrier by the second as if this is all my fault. Fortunately the current was too strong for him to get back up, but he refused to go down. A few men in line came to my aid since I was only 16 at the time and fearing for my life. They tried to tell him to calm down and just go down the slide as I called my supervisor and security who quickly rushed to help. After a bit of reasoning, the man went down the slide and was met by security at the exit. So quick lesson, don't wear jeans to water parks and also don't threaten a sixteen year old terrified lifeguard.

Homework Meltdown

As a full time nanny, I've seen my share of melt downs. Luckily the little girl I've been watching since freshmen year has her head screwed on tight most of the time. She's a very bright kid but those are the ones you have to watch out for, because they know exactly how far they can test you. Unfortunately for Emily, she realized on Monday that I can push buttons right back.

Homework is a daily struggle of a second grader. No eight year old wants to get off the bus and go straight to reading a book! Though it's a pain I remember all too well, it's necessary. The afternoon started as it usually does between Emily and I. I begged, bribed and prayed for her to read but she was not having any of it. I might as well asked her to preform brain surgery. After a fierce stare-off, I managed to convince her to read two chapters and then right a few sentences down. Once she had finished, I tried to make light of her nasty attitude and crack a joke. She was not amused and stomped off to watch TV with not one but two forbidden snacks. I told her to put the snacks back and get something healthier. She stared at me while cranking up the volume on the TV. Two can play at this game.

I walked to the TV, took the remote, turned it off and carried the remote back into the kitchen where I sat down silently. This is when she began to lose her young mind. Emily began muttering something under her breath and started pacing around the island in the kitchen as I sat quietly with my cell phone. After she realized this wasn't getting her any attention, she stood next to me completely still until the full tantrum set in. I'm not exaggerating when I say she dropped to the floor in a mere split second and then began moaning and groaning at the top of her lungs. It took everything in me not to burst out laughing. I thought this was the worst of it but she quickly proved me wrong as she started to roll on the floor, moaning and slapping her face against the table legs. Then she took her shoe off and began to poke me with it. She still was not going to get any attention from me. At this moment, her mother walked in absolutely hysterical with laughter. I explained the situation and then showed her a video I had stealthily captured. Needless to say, Emily learned the tough lesson that adults can give the silent treatment too.

(the black thing on the left is her dog)

The test that almost KILLED me

Before I start my horror story, let it be known that neither I nor anyone else was harmed and everything is a-o-k now. Alright, lets begin!

So I got up nice and early at 6 am Saturday to take my ACT for the second time. I was really stressing about taking it even though I got a decent score the first time around. I had to schedule it at Indian Hills which is exactly seventeen miles away from my house because no other options were available, so getting lost was a definite worry for me. Anyway, I got ready for the big test and left my house at about 7:15 am, giving myself plenty of time to not only get to the test, but stop at Walgreens for some batteries for my very neglected calculator I keep in the glove box. Blah blah blah I got what I needed and then started my 25 minute journey down 275 towards Indian Hill. 

The road was disastrous and my visibility was as if I was looking through a cloud. Luckily, there weren't many cars on the road on that rainy Saturday morning. I traveled about ten miles when I realized I had forgotten my entrance ticket for the test and without it, I couldn't get in. Going into total panic mode, I tried to think if I had enough time to race home and grab it or if I had just flushed fifty dollars of my own money down a figurative drain. I needed to take exit 52 to get to the school and I was already at 50 so I decided I might as well get off the highway and call my folks to see what I could do. This exit was unfamiliar to me so I did not anticipate a curve. The cloud of fog and rain didn't allow me to see this curve until it was too late. I hit the wheel hard and then I felt it. Hydroplaning. It's one of the absolute worst feelings in my opinion. Losing control, my truck slid off the exit and into the grass a good 50 yards out. Before I came to a complete stop, my passenger side wheels lifted off the ground and I was almost positive it was going to flip onto the driver side. The passenger wheels met the ground again with a soft thud. I was shaking so hard that I couldn't even see straight. It took a while for my uncontrollably trembling hand to put the truck back into first gear and try to get out of this muddy mess and back onto the road. I finally managed to get moving and then pulled into a gas station where I then had a total break down. Long story short, I didn't take the ACT! 

I am so amazed that I came out of that one totally fine. What if I had been on a bridge? What if I was going five miles faster? What if? Luckily, it wasn't a huge deal because I was able to reschedule the test and it gave me a little bit of a wake up call on how quickly things can change.

Squirrel Whisperer

So I'm pretty sure I have strep throat and that means no school for me. I used to love missing school but now it's just stressful since I know I'm missing homework. None the less, my only option today was to stay home and I think it's a good thing I did. Let me explain. 

When I got up, both my parents had already gone to work. I walked to the window to make sure both their cars were gone and suddenly I see this little blur fall from the sky. As I opened the door to investigate, another little blob fell right in front of me. My heart sank when I realized these were baby squirrels. I watched as one squirrel ran back up the tree but the other one was just laying there. As soon as I realized it was alive and breathing, I ran into my house and grabbed a towel. When I got close to the squirrel, it jumped up and ran. The next twenty-ish minutes consisted of me trying to follow around this tiny squirrel with a towel trying to catch him. Finally I got him cornered and held him with the towel. Then this little creature starts screaming his little head off trying to find his mom. If you've never heard a squirrel scream, it's kind of like one thousand baby birds squeaking. 

So now I'm standing outside in my pajamas, holding a screeching baby squirrel with a towel and then Momma Squirrel decides to make an appearance. I'm not a sissy but there's something about a crazy mother squirrel making demon noises that frightens me. So little Ms. Devil Squirrel starts chasing me and I really quickly set the baby and towel down and jumped into my house. And then mom and baby both climbed back into the tree so I think the baby is ok. 

I guess it's good I didn't go to school today because I wouldn't have been able to help the squirrels. I'm a magnet for finding animals and stuff. I'm always finding kittens or dogs but finding squirrels was a new experience!!

-Odessa

Say NO to Pepper Spray

Dear Readers,

We're nearing the end of week 1 of this assignment and nothing too crazy has happened to me this week! I guess I can tell you a little more about myself and pull some stories out of the vault to share with you.

Last week, my best friend, Jordan, moved to South Korea for a foreign exchange program. She's going to be living there for a whole year so this summer we made it a point to spend as much time together as we possibly could. This summer, I've laughed so hard that I've cried and when she left we both cried so much we just had to laugh at ourselves. It's been pretty tough since she left because she truly is my best friend and I've known her since I first moved to Ohio when I was only six years old. We've only exchanged a few messages since she left on August 26th. Forgive me if I seem a little down at school. Anyway, enough with the sob story and lets get onto a happier one.

So midsummer, Jordan and I were bored and looking for something to do. We were both fairly broke and not hungry, so that kills about 95% of our options of fun things to do in Cincinnati. Being lame, we finally decided on just going to Barnes and Noble to look at some CD's. On the way, we made our almost-daily stop at Thornton's to get icees (my favorite drink) with some spare change in my car. We went to the Barnes and Noble by the Rave (AMC now) and finished our drinks as we shopped. After we finished looking around at the CD's and books, we walked through the empty little streets outside filled with shops. Jordan was fiddling with her keys and I spotted her tiny pepper spray bottle key-chain. Honestly, I wasn't trying to be a complete idiot, it just kind of happened. I took the pepper spray and sprayed the wall because I wanted to see what it looked like. Seems fine, right? Well, I realized I had some on my finger and so, doing the smart thing, I licked it off. MAJOR MISTAKE. I can not even tell you how horrible it was. If I had to describe it, I'd probably say it was like swallowing a flaming pepper covered in needles. Jordan stared in disbelief at my stupidity as my vision blurred with spicy tears.

Screaming, I ran back into Barnes and Noble and headed for Starbucks. Remember when I told you I was broke? Yeah, I was still broke, so I couldn't buy anything to drink, but lucky for me there was a little stand of free water. After gulping down a few cups, I realized it wasn't helping at all, so I did what I had to do. I drank a cup of coffee creamer that had been sitting in a big pitcher in a Starbucks for probably an entire day. So now imagine swallowing a flaming pepper and then trying to mask it with rotten milk and extreme embarrassment. I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital.

During this whole scene, Jordan is just doubled over laughing like such a good friend. I thought I was going to die or explode or catch on fire. Needless to say, I survived but my dignity definitely took a big hit that night. No way I'll ever live that one down. I swear I'm not as big of an idiot as I sound haha.

-Odessa

Welcome To My Crazy Life!

Dear Readers,

My name is Odessa Boettger and I'd like to think I can tell some pretty good stories. I'm 17 years old and a senior at Princeton High School in Cincinnati, Ohio. Although I live in Ohio, my life is anything but boring. Between drama at school and work, crazy people in my life, and odd encounters with strangers, I always have outrageous stories few believe.  I'm constantly waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out from behind a bush and yell "You've been Punk'd!" though this sadly hasn't happened yet. Sometimes it really does feel like I'm watching a comedy movie script play out before my very own eyes.

I am a magnet for weird stories and situations. Strangers are constantly striking me up for conversation in the oddest of times. My crazy hair is always a conversation starter, as is my uncommon name. It also doesn't help that I'm frequently tracking down local strangers to return lost dogs or needing assistance of passerbys while having car troubles on busy roads. As I'm not the most graceful speaker, half of these encounters are painfully awkward while the other half are just plain struggles. Though I may have painted myself to be a socially awkward storyteller, crazy things really do just fall into my life and I feel obligated to share the humor with somebody.

Though I do enjoy the act of crazy storytelling, there's more to this blog than that. I'm hoping this blog can be a tiny little peephole for my teachers and peers to see into my hectic life. Soft spoken around new people, I feel that I'm often dismissed or forgotten by teachers I don't connect with. Maybe this blog will provide somewhat of an insight into my actual life. I’m not as quiet and reserved as I may seem, in a school full of people I somewhat know. It’s when I’m with friends outside of school where I can truly be myself and not worry about other people thinking badly of me. My home life is so much different than my school life it’s almost night and day. I hope this blog can show that a little bit more.

-Odessa